Upcoming Meeting

K, from CS, and I have been trying to meet up for months.  I was supposed to meet him Friday before last, but I was running late, and we missed each other by five minutes.  We have a new meeting set up, and I am making sure that my day is free, so I can make it on time.

His situation is not deal, as he is in a live-in relationship.  I had that with whore (as he was married), and it worked for us, other than I could not leave marks on him, which was less than ideal.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the two guys on FL, so I can set up meetings with them.  I hope it's soon, as I am on holiday the first two weeks of September, and want to get basic training started.

I've been longing to have my own dungeon lately, but with my one bedroom house, that not possible.  I have eye bolts drilled in the door frame between my living space and my kitchen, and that has to suffice for now.  I want a "Summer" cabin in my garden, and insulate it, sound proof the walls, put in triple frame windows, put in a window A/C, and a space heater for cold days.  I'd love to set up a St. Andrew's Cross, a spanking/raping bench, along with a sleeper loveseat, a small table, a mini refrigerator, a small microwave, and a good coffee maker.  Of course, that's going to cost some, and so it's on he back burner for a while (c'mon Lotto!).  Right now, all I can do is dream.

As the World Turns

 

Hello all,

L had several family issues, and honestly did no have the time to devote to me, so I let him go earlier this year.  Since then I have met one submissive (age 35, but looked older than me), but that was a fizzle and dud, as that the one and only time we met, he said he felt like he was hanging out with his mom, due to our 13 year age difference.  Honestly, and yuck!

I have a playmate that I try to get together as often as possible to work over for mutual satisfaction.  I'm hoping he's free soon.

I have met a young man (in his 30's), an have gotten to know him.  I want to take his as my submissive lover, but every time we try to get together, something comes up.  For instance we were supposed to get together today at 1100, and he discovered that he had a fever blister (of which I got photographic proof), so POOF!, there went our playtime.

There are two submissives, one in Vienna, and one is Wiener Neustadt (outside of Vienna), from FetLife that I'm trying o set up initial meetings with, and one from CollarSpace that I am meeting next Tuesday in Tulln.  Hopefully one of these pans out to be a submissive that I can train to eventually own.

As for my marriage,  no longer (and haven't for some time) want to live with my husband.  I'm so over the incessant arguing, and him trying to pick fights with me.  I'm trying to find PT work, so I can live alone in the tiny house we share.  As I've  mentioned before, we've had a completely platonic relationship for ages now.  He told me today that if he has to move out that he'll get a girlfriend (like I care).  I've been telling him for years now to find someone that he can be intimate with.  I don't know why he thought that saying that would hurt me.  I want both of us to be happy, and we are not happy together.

We did not know each other at all when we married, which is the crux of the problem.  We are complete and utter opposites...  I'm joyful, positive, high energy and playful, and he's morose, negative, low energy, and stoic.  If we would have taken the time to get to know each other better before we married, we wouldn't have married at all.

That's all I really have to say.  I hope you are all well, and happy. 

The "L" Word

No, no, not love, and not lesbian..  L is the first letter of the submissive I've been chatting with.

At all hours of the day I find myself fantasizing all the wonderfully kinky stuff that I want to do with him.  After my hiatus, finding out that I still hunger for these things brings me an incredible amount of joy.

What I can tell you about L is that at age 66, he is a gorgeous silver fox.  He's kind, compassionate, and funny.  He also has a strong mind and stands by his convictions.  He has morals and standards, and is close with his family.  Once he submits to a Dominant he's gives his all.  He showers me with adoration, and I know that when we finally are together in person, he will shower me with devotion.

He's a lovely man.

Interesting New Developments

Hello all!  Sorry about disappearing... I just needed a break.  I wanted to share what is going on with me.

Whore is still gone, and to this I say good riddance.  I never knew when he was gong to disappear, and reappear, so at this point I am just happy that he's gone.

I met a couple of men since then and one I played with from December 2015 to June of 2016, when he had to return home due to familial problems.  I wish him nothing but the best on his journey.

For years now my husband and I haven't connected.  I don't remember the last time we had sex, but I know that it's been years.  I am not made for a celibate life.  We live a platonic roommate relationship, and that's not what I want.  I've considered leaving him for a while now.  I just need to make a final decision on this.  I still love him, but I need so much more than what I am getting, and he is unwilling to give it to me (and I'm not even talking about BDSM).

Recently I started getting to know an intelligent, kind, compassionate, and devoted submissive, who lives on the east coast of the States.  I was seriously surprised to meet someone like him on CollarSpace.  As a general rule I only get losers that send me one line messages telling me what they want from me.  This man, I'll call him L, has his life together, and wants to submit to a strong, dominant women who will treasure his gift of submission.  He's what I've been wanting for ages.  We've grown very fond of one another, and are enjoying getting to know each other better on a daily basis.  L and I are looking forward to where this journey will take us.

On the health front I had a partial left knee replacement in September of last year.  I've gone through PT one, but need to do it again.  In 2018 I'm supposed to have my right knee done.  I feel like the bionic woman.

Having the gastric sleeve done a few years ago has changed my life.  I was 368 pounds and now I'm 183 pounds.  I am having skin removal surgery this Spring, and am very excited about this!  Above is a recent photo of me (I'm going back to platinum next month).  I feel beautiful and sexy, and it's been years since I've felt this way.  It's fantastic!!

Well, there you go!  A short update on me.  I will be writing more often, especially since I feel inspired again.

Hope you're all doing well.  All my best to each and every one of you.

Beginning BDSM